What It Took Me to Become A British Citizen

It’s a strange feeling — I’m now a British citizen. I can vote. Britain is my country now.

It took me over 11 years to get here.

I had to have top grades and go to a top university so I could get a solid job to secure visa sponsorship while paying lots and lots of fees along the way. The playing field was never really level.

I had to leave friends and families behind, watching my birth town and my own family change year by year to the point where they became unrecognizable to me. There’s a sense of grief that’s hard to describe.

Worse, the possibility of losing everything and going back to Vietnam mid-way through with nothing to show for it induced constant anxiety, holding me back from reaching my full potential at times because I couldn’t take the risks I needed.

My sister and me in Chinatown in 2011

I’m now a self-assured woman with a life and careers I love, so different from the girl who came to England in 2011, but I have few witnesses to this transformation as I’ve lost contact with most school friends in Vietnam. Few fully know how much it means for me to get here.

Well, it’s hard to maintain relationships when you could only visit for two weeks at a time every few years. I have missed every single Christmas and Tet (lunar new year) holiday since I left.

For many years over the last 11 years, I felt lonely, anxious, and sad. I have my sister in London with me, but with 6 years of an age gap between us and as she understandably had her life to worry about too, I felt like I was mostly on my own.

Navigating life, schools, jobs, and relationships as a Vietnamese woman in London was a terrifying minefield I had no choice but to walk through as I held onto the hope that eventually the rewards would outweigh the risks — that it would be worth all the sacrifices.

Little was given or naturally there as I was far away from the community I was brought up in. I had to learn to make independent judgments and decisions from a very young age while potential danger was at every corner.

It was made harder by my emotional and sensitive nature and my pursuit of unconventional subjects for Vietnamese students back in the day: psychology and writing.

The path ahead of me was an unknown road, so it was all up to me to make something of it.

I actually found an email I wrote at 16 to show you my writing level when I first moved to the UK.

Some context: I used to love the game Nancy Drew, so I subscribed to their newsletter. When they sent me an automatic confirmation email, my clueless 16-year-old self… replied to them.

(I laughed reading this!)

The screenshot of my email — “Gau” was my old nickname

To think I’m now paid to write and create content (and I’m indeed a British now) must’ve been beyond my wildest dreams then — I’ve come a long way!

I don’t think I could’ve leveled up that much if I hadn’t been thrown into the deep end and left to my own devices.

So, while it was unbelievably hard, I’m thankful.

On the bright side, the last 11 years have given me invaluable opportunities to find myself, build my character, and achieve the abundant life I live now.

I’ve been really blessed.

True, I didn’t have many friends, but I had (and still have) a handful of really great friends who have stayed with me through all the ups and downs of life.

My best friends as my beautiful bridesmaids

I didn’t always confide in my sister, but her husband and she have been my rock, my second parents, and my role models who were my compass to lean on and my home to come back to anytime I wanted. They gave me the security I needed to explore the world with confidence.

I didn’t get to come home and visit my mum often, but she has always been there for me, supporting me, loving me unconditionally despite the distance, and giving me many good traits I have today, including my communication skills, my optimism, and my faith in good people.

My mum, my sister and me at my wedding, thanking my mum

Life was unpredictable, but I had a solid foundation in terms of education and values that allowed me to overcome any challenges and weather any storms. I worked hard, but hard work came naturally because that was how I was brought up.

I’ve also been very lucky.

I did tons of work on myself to become a better person and partner as I knew I wanted to get married, but I couldn’t control when I would meet my husband.

I met him at the perfect time.

When the first lockdown in the UK happened, we were close enough to move in together. Thanks to him, I spent all lockdowns in a spacious place with someone who loved me and cared for me deeply. If it hadn’t been for him, I’d have been stuck in a tiny rented lower-ground room, all alone and depressed.

From the very early day of our relationship, I was welcomed into his big family and given lots of love by his parents, siblings, and relatives. They treat me like their own family. His parents insisted on coming to my citizenship ceremony because they knew it was important to me.

My husband has been the most wonderful partner for me and treated me like a queen.

I got married in May 2022

Now that I’ve become a British citizen, I feel a lot more grounded and settled. I have my own family based in London, and this gorgeous, vibrant city will continue to be our home where we grow our family and make memories together.

It’s been a long journey. So much has happened since my first day arriving in the UK.

It has taught me that change is possible and self-belief is a powerful force.

It’s vital that you know yourself and what you truly want and need because only then can you make your life happen in a way that serves you.

Last but not least, I want to give myself the credit for never giving up and pushing through even when it hurt. I’m very proud of myself.

It feels like a chapter has closed, and now it’s time for a new one. If the first phase was about learning, it’s now the building stage as I’ve gathered my resources.

I’ll continue to learn, grow and create while sharing what I know and giving back along the way.