I came to London 11 years ago as a student. This year, I’m turning 29. Time flies by so quickly.

Back then, I used to share a rented room with my sister, who is 6 years older than me and hated that I would leave my clothes everywhere. Now both of us have our own families and houses, and I can leave my clothes wherever I want.

It means a lot to me to finally feel secure and settled after being uprooted from a young age.

Life’s great. I have a wonderful husband who is my best friend. An orange cat that I’m obsessed with. No children yet. A full-time job in Financial Services and other things I do in my free time.

It didn’t just happen by chance. I’ve earned this. Well, I had to. Otherwise, I would not have been able to stay in the UK. It’s not an easy journey to become British.

My life was restricted by visa rules for 10 years, so I did the best I could.

I stayed with the company that sponsored my visa while spending my free time building my online business and working through my personal issues.

So, now, after having my love life and many important things in place, I have more time – and the freedom as a British citizen - to think about work and who I want to be in the world.

It’s a good stage of life to be thinking about work. I get to be more intentional.

It’s no longer just throwing darts in the dark. I know myself well now, and the security I’ve built for myself allows me to have the space I need to figure out what I want to do.

If in my early twenties, I challenged the ideas I’d internalised around patriarchy and heterosexual relationships, now I’m starting to question those around success and jobs.

For a long time, I had to stay in a safe zone for the sake of my visa. But now I wonder what would happen if I step out of those lines or just scrap them altogether and draw new ones.

Actually, I did it once before. I had a short full-time freelancing stint before getting my current corporate job. It didn’t work back then for many reasons, which I’ll share in another video. To be honest, even now, I’m not 100% sure what will work either, but regardless, I have become more thoughtful about this area of my life.

I’ve spent time examining why I got a corporate job so soon again, my experience on this job, and what has governed my emotions and decisions in the world of work.

It’s an interesting journey and very liberating to arrive at some answers.

I can’t say in the last 11 years I’ve strategised my career very well, but I’ve served my interests to the best of my knowledge, and now it’s time to connect some dots.

Here are a few things I’ve learned on the way:

Be conscious what scale you’re measuring yourself against and what wall you’re leaning against

I went to Bristol for my university. Everyone I knew at Bristol wanted to be in banking and finance. For a while, that was my goal too, even though I studied Psychology. I applied to these graduate schemes and failed miserably because I had no real interest in it.  

Though I had a non-finance job after graduation, I still ended up at a bank because my work visa limited my options. Even though my performance was praised, to me, I was essentially just completing tasks at work, not particularly passionate or having any original insights.

I had a gut feeling that it was not right for me, but seeing my peers progressing in their careers, I felt rubbish regardless. I didn’t realise then that I was trying to climb up a ladder that was leaning against the wrong wall. I was measuring myself against other people’s scales. I set myself up to fail. 

Now that I’ve got a British passport and have done a lot more things to get to know myself, I understand better what’s important to me, what success means to me, and how to meaningfully measure myself.  

Even though I still work at a bank now and I’ll get more into that in another video, I’m a lot more conscious about this decision and have shifted many mindsets that make me feel truer to myself and comfortable with where I am.  

Make decisions that you need to make but know who you are and know your why. 

Your Skills and Knowledge Stay with You, Not with the Companies

This is an Insight I got from a career coach.

I have spent many years in financial services and so I have a bit of anxiety thinking what if I want to explore something new and later I want to get a job at the bank again? If I leave now, would that waste all these years in financial services building up all that knowledge?

So my career coach helped me think of my skills and knowledge as a backpack filled with tools. It's mine and it stays with me wherever I go.

Companies? They are more like the places where you use your tools, buy more of them and sharpen the existing ones so remember your talents are yours, not owned by a company and it's okay to let go when the time comes.

If You Feel Stuck, Remind Yourself That Your Job Is Not Your Identity

I spent 5 years on a work visa. I could not move anywhere and I always felt very trapped. But I don't regret that time in my life. It has built me a lot of skills and knowledge.

The insurance from that job also helped me go to therapy and it gave me the security I needed then to then explore my life in London and get to know myself so I am grateful for that job and I'm grateful that they sponsored me.

It's not permanent and in the grand scheme of things, a few years? It’s nothing.

There is no perfect job. Every job will have things that you like and you don't like. It's better to focus on the good and based on your priorities, decide whether it's worth it.

Give Yourself a Chance

Like everyone out there, I have had my fair share of rejection and I always thought, “Why didn't they choose me? Why didn't they take a chance on me?”

And then at some point, it dawned on me that I haven't taken that chance on myself and it means that I didn't ask myself what I really really want to do and then try really hard at it and it can be so scary because when you really try at something you want and then you fail and then you realise, oh my god, I suck.

But you know what—it's actually okay as well because when you realise that you suck, you can improve and get better, and if it's something you really, really want to do, you have a lot more motivation to get better at it, so I would say: give yourself a chance, a chance in life, in relationships and work.

Put yourself out there, get rejected, get accepted, and go through that process and really really live.

Be intentional about it.

Building My Identity Separate from a Company's Brand

Building my identity separate from a company's brand has been the best thing I've done for my career.

I guess it makes sense for you to have some sort of identity aligned with your company if you are in the front office like in sales functions, but if you work in the middle or back office as in support functions, then it's really on you to build that identity outside the role.

I am so happy that I have done that throughout my career. I have my own website. I have my portfolio. I have so many things that I have built outside my corporate job that say this is me. I have a Google page if you search my name, and it just gives me a lot more security—if something happens, I can run myself as a business or freelance. I can always build something out of it.

It is a journey but I am moving along and enjoying the process and to me that's what matters.